Sometimes, There is Light (cont.)

So I wrote a little song/poem to accompany my last blog post. Hope someone, somewhere, might like it maybe.  🤷🏼‍♀️

 Throughout the years, I always felt 

“What an awful hand in life I was dealt!” 

I grew up with nothing but hardships and pain, 

and let that define me for most of my days.

So as a teen, I never even dared to dream.

Became depressed and made it my scene.

And at 23, I just couldn’t see

Anything good ever happening  to me.

So I acted out, I took some shit

Blacked out and threw some fits

But I never knew, that by age 32

I’d be not only surviving and making it through, 

But thriving, and  living life brand new.

Much like a fine wine, I’ve improved over time, 

And I realized without darkness, there can be no light 

I’m far from perfect, but I know I’m enough. 

 So I no longer cut, and I don’t self destruct

If I were to turn back those hands of time, 

I’d tell that younger self of mine. 

You may not be ready now, but one day you’ll see, 

Depressed isn’t all that you’ll ever be!

 Some days you’ll despair, but on others, rejoice.

And the time will come when you regain your voice!  

You’ll want to dance, you’ll want to sing

You’ll feel that little spark within. 

Your inner hero will step up to fight,

And you’ll realize, just as day becomes night,

That sometimes there is darkness, sure- but sometimes, there is light. 

 

The End of Anxiety

Oh hello there anxiety, my oldest friend
Back for an unwanted visit again?
I thought I told you, I no longer have fear
I’m stronger than ever now, didn’t you hear? 

You were like a cloak that I wore all year round
Heavy and stiff, always weighing me down
But I cast off that cloak and I’m learning to breathe
So if you don’t mind now please, I’ll ask you to leave 

Oh what’s that, anxiety? You’re Constricting my throat? 
Reducing my voice to a whimper and croak?
And now comes the part where you get in my head
Try to convince me I’d be better off dead

But I’m smart now, anxiety, I know that’s not true
The days of you poisoning my mind are through
I won’t let your vitriol dictate what I do
And the only thing better off dying is you 

So I’ll let you visit this one last time
But then you can fuck off out of my life
You weren’t invited, and won’t ever be
So thanks for the memories but now you must leave.

2 am is for lovers

 

Though sadness once seduced me 

And melancholy held me tight 
Now 2am’s for lovers
And Lust’s reclaimed the night

Let’s together be wild and disgraceful 

Allow ourselves to come undone 

Though our passion may overwhelm us 

Though our fire may blister the sun 

 

Let’s escape to our secret universe

Where our entire existence is us 

Where outside of these four walls

Nothing is or ever was

 

Let’s embrace these sacred moments

Share lungs and single breath

And when the daylight hour approaches

Together die a little death.

@totallyborderline

The Love Bipolar

 Crazy boy fell for crazy girl,
and they loved and loved and loved.
They’d found their match in this crazy world,
It felt conspired from above.

Insomnia Everlasting

Here in the middle of this ageless night,
In this tepid room devoid of light.
My mind craves the release of a dream, respite.
But no release comes and I toss left and right.
The deep chill of loneliness carries a bite,
Darkness of thoughts alone cause for fright. 
Try to summon reveries that bring great delight,
Beg for positive energy with all my might.
Await dawn’s rise, the most beautiful sight 
To release me from this ageless night. 

©totallyborderline

Oh To Be

To have pieces still shiny, unbroken
for laughter to reign endlessly
to leave no desire unspoken,
Oh to be young and free. 

To bask in the glow of the moonlight, 
To kiss the salty mouth of the sea.
To fill lungs with air, unburdened
Oh to be young and free. 

To believe in joy and kindness,
And seek it fervently,
To love with a heart wide open,
Oh to be young and free. 

©totallyborderline