Living with a mental illness and various panic disorders is, to me, kind of like walking around with a heavy and noisy speaker on your shoulder. Blaring your personal, and often embarrassing, playlists for the world to hear, on shuffle, with you desperately trying but unable to find the mute button. You receive a bunch of unwanted attention from eye-rolling strangers, the song and tempo is often wildly inappropriate for the situation, and people don’t understand why you can’t just silence the damn thing. Continue reading “Anxiety, The Worst of Me”
For the longest time, I thought I was the only one. Continue reading “The Art of Escaping”
As I’ve eluded to in some previous posts, I have, somewhat sadly, spent the majority of the past decade ensconsed in various failed relationships. When my most recent one collapsed around 7 months ago, my world collapsed with it. I had a total fucking meltdown and existential crisis. Continue reading “Youth & Young Romance”
I’ve been blundering my way through this ‘life’ thing for nearly thirty years now, and I still haven’t quite figured out how to be good at it. I have, however, acquired a particular set of skills; namely, in fucking up and being a total failure. So for those of you out there who have successfully transitioned into adulthood, are perhaps bored with your smooth sailing, easy-breezy lifestyle over in Made It-ville, here’s some tips on how to foray over to the wrong side of the tracks and take up residence in FuckUp Town, all in just 10 easy steps! So put down your kale and chia juice or whatever it is that real grown-ups do these days, and prepare to be un-enlightened. You’re welcome. Continue reading “How to be an Emotional Wreck and Suck at Everything”
Crazy boy fell for crazy girl,
and they loved and loved and loved.
They’d found their match in this crazy world,
It felt conspired from above. Continue reading “The Love Bipolar”
After my first dabble with weed and the delicious peacefulness it allowed my troubled adolescent mind, I was completely intrigued by the drug. Despite my parents open use of it, I kept my experimentations quiet and tried my best to keep it hidden from them. Continue
My relationship with weed has lasted longer than any of my partners, and for that matter, most of of my friends. Our shared history is a fractious one, and to this day remains based on a love/hate dynamic. It is the one thing that is always there for me, yet it is the one thing that I allow to control me and hold me back. It’s kind of like I’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship with my bong for the past 15 years. Continue reading “Mary Jane and Me”
In part 1, I discussed a simple strategy, based on my own experiences, to deflecting a drunken boyfriend after a late night out on the piss. But what if the Drunk One happens to be such a rowdy mess, you not only can’t ignore it but are morally obliged to do something about it? Continue reading “Guide to Dating a Drunken Dickhead: Part 2 “
So I had this boyfriend once. The relationship lasted six years in total, which was about four years longer than it should have. In the early days, when I was young and ridiculous and didn’t care about money and responsibility and other grown-up burdens, it was wonderful. They were the days of sunshine and endless intoxication. Continue reading “A Guide to Dating a Drunken Dickhead: Part 1”
Here in the middle of this ageless night,
In this tepid room devoid of light.
My mind craves the release of a dream, respite.
But no release comes and I toss left and right.
The deep chill of loneliness carries a bite,
Darkness of thoughts alone cause for fright.
Try to summon reveries that bring great delight,
Beg for positive energy with all my might.
Await dawn’s rise, the most beautiful sight
To release me from this ageless night.